Humor

I came across this joke today and laughed then sighed. Mainly because it's so true. I am reminded of the time I took my grandmother to renew her license. It wasn't until she told the licensing officer that she'd never lost consciousness (she'd had a couple of strokes) that I began to comprehend how much the ability to drive is linked to an elderly person's sense of self and independence.

A group of retirees were discussing their medical problems at the Senior Center over coffee one morning.

"Do you realize," said one, "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."

"Yes, I know." replied the second, "My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee."

"I can't turn my head," rejoined the third, "because of the arthritis in my neck."

"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy," commented the fourth, adding, "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."

"Let's look at the bright side," piped up the first, "We should be thankful that we can still drive." -submitted to Guy-Sports.com.

And unrelated to the first, this one made me laugh on a few different levels:

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a red Mustang doing 85 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone! - submitted to Bulterwebs.com. 

I'd love to hear your driving jokes. Please share!

Traffic Calming Device

I saw this sign yesterday and my curiosity got the best of me. I had to know what a traffic calming device was and made a little detour on my route just to go down this road. Imagine my surprise when I didn't find classical music being broadcast for all to hear, but instead it was just a warning sign for some speed bumps ahead. Ha ha ha. Funny sign.

Traffic calming device sign.

"Concerned Motorist"

Dear Concerned Motorist,

Thank you for notifying the authorities about my alleged HOV infraction. They mailed me a pamphlet on how to use the carpool lane. I've always wondered what happens when someone calls the 1-800-HERO line. Now I know.

You must have been the lonely driver next to me...resenting the fact that I was passing you. Maybe you thought I was the type of person who throws caution to the wind and drives on the wild side. It's nice to be thought of that way, even if misguided. Ahhh, to be so young again! 

http://www.wsp.wa.gov/

I do have a question though, how did you miss my four children in the back?  Or did you think that they were part of my cover? It would have been a good idea, really. I should invest in blow up dolls to sit in my kids' car seats. I'd even turn on the rear entertainment system to complete the effect. Then I'd get all the benefits of the carpool lane without any of the back seat bickering that usually accompanies it. 

WSP HOV Infraction Notice

I wonder if the Washington State Patrol would facilitate mailing you a "not a ticket" infraction notice to get you to go to the optometrist? Like you, I am a concerned motorist. The WSP probably also has a brochure they could send you about the 20/40 vision requirement to drive legally...and perhaps they also have a brochure on tattling that they could throw in.

Maybe I'm being judgmental. I'm sure you thought you were doing the right thing.

Sincerely,
Bridget
(The lady with lots of kids and tinted windows.)

From Rain to Hydroplane

Though it rains in Western Washington a lot, there isn't usually a problem with hydroplaning...probably because it's usually just drizzle. We've had a few exceptions to the norm this year, though. It's just after 5pm and it's been raining all day today. It was raining when I went to bed last night and has been going non-stop all day. As a result, there is standing water on the roadways. I'd like to think that modern engineering would have solved this problem and the rain would naturally run off, and to a large degree it works, but it hasn't eliminated the problem and hydroplaning still occurs.

So what should you do when your vehicle turns into a pair of water skis and rides up on top of the water? Follow these three points:

1. Have both hands on the wheel in a balanced hand position. That means the hands are in the 9 and 3 or 8 and 4 o'clock positions. Not so much 10 and 4. This will allow you maximum control of steering.
2. Let off the gas. Slow down without braking. This will help your wheels sink to the pavement and gain traction without getting water in the brakes. It's just like slowing a ski boat will help a skier sink into the water.
3. Increase your following distance and keep a large space cushion around your vehicle.

Be Safe and Happy Driving!

A New View

When I was seven I got glasses. It was a life changing experience for me as the world opened up right in front of me. My first impression was, "wow, I can see the leaves on the trees." They had been green blobs before. Now they were crystal clear and precise. My parents never had to remind me to wear my glasses. I wanted to.

Yesterday, I took my Pilot into the dealership for an oil change and to check on a couple of items. I thought they were simple fixes...it turns out only one of them was. My rear wiper hasn't been working for a few months. Since I wasn't raised with vehicles that had rear wipers, I didn't think it was a big deal not to have one. But I did notice things were a bit hazy checking my rear view mirror. We've had a lot of rain, spray, snow, slush, etc. on the roads this winter and it gets so discouraging to wash the car only to drive it once and the dirt mounds up again. So, most often I just live with the dirt. For a month at a time. Or two. Sometimes three.

When a not-so-easy, pull out the seats and dash problem made it impossible to take my car home, the dealer gave me a rental car until they could isolate the problem and then fix it. My first impression driving a new car? I could see clearly out that back window. Like going from an impressionistic painting to a sharp photographic image clear. A whole new traffic scene emerged and I was vividly reminded of my childhood experience getting glasses.

I'm going back to the dealer this afternoon to get my car back. Tightening one bolt fixed the wiper. So simple. And I have a renewed sense of importance for keeping that back window clean.