Poppies

One of my favorite views from the highways of the Balkans are the poppies that grow wild all over the place. They brighten my mood and feel like a bit of hope on an otherwise dusty shoulder. I think the American VFW recognizes the simplicity of their beauty, as well. And the fact that they can grow in what seems to be infertile land. I bought one of their poppies a few months ago. The seeds of freedom are just as hopeful and definitely as prolific as the poppy. 

A Taste of Crazy: Driving In Belgrade

My daughters and I are currently visiting Belgrade, Serbia, the home of our beloved former exchange student Jovana. We rented a car to get around but the first day, I wasn't comfortable driving. It is definitely different driving here than at home.

Streets are narrow and cars park on the sidewalk. Those backing up don't always yield to traffic on the street. Sometimes 5 roads intersect at the same point and collisions are barely avoided. But everyone seems to be ultra aware of their surroundings and able to react at a second's notice.

Busy Belgrade street

Jovana explained the rules to me. Stop signs are like stronger yield signs. Sometimes, you stop at stop signs, but never if there isn't anyone around. But some are like super strong yields so you definitely need to stop. If you want to change lanes, you turn on your blinker and move over...the other guy will slow down. If you need to stop somewhere and there's nowhere to park, you just pop on your hazard lights (even if that means blocking a lane of traffic) and you run in. No one likes it, but everyone does it.

Last night, we went for pizza and my girls fell asleep in the back seat. Chubby's Pizza is on a busy avenue with two lanes of traffic in each direction. Jovana pulled up behind someone in the right lane with their hazards on. She turned hers on and got out to go in and order. Sitting in the car, I noticed two more cars stopped in back of us to run in as well. When the guy in front of us left, two more cars pulled into the impromptu parking lane. Jovana was gone about 10 minutes and then we were on our way.

The woman in the maroon car popped on her hazards and ran into the store. Red car is going around her.

We've been staying in Jovana's family's second home and driving to her apartment daily using gps. While I appreciate the device and technology, I've been frustrated because it takes anywhere between 15 and 45 minutes to traverse between the two homes. Anyone from Seattle would chalk that up heavy traffic...but it's not that. The gps is taking me a different way each time. It's been difficult for me to learn my way by memorizing landmarks. Yesterday, I got a tour of some country road with fields. I'm supposed to be in an urban area, not rural. A couple of nights ago, the gps had to keep "recalculating" my route because I thought the streets it mentioned were driveways...not even wide enough to be an alley.

Thankfully, Jovana wrote down some instructions for me so that it'd be easier. And the past few trips have been much better.

One of the hardest parts of Belgrade driving for me is that the traffic signals are maybe 12 feet off the ground and placed on both sides of the intersection. I'm working on retraining my brain to see them since my automatic response is to look high above each lane for signal directions. I don't think I've run any lights. But if I have the Serbians around me have adapted well.

Notice the motorcycle going the wrong way?

While driving in Belgrade is crazy and often like an obstacle course or driving video game where you try to avoid the hazards popping out all over, it's got an upside, too. Here, my mind has been 100% on the driving task. Part of what keeps me present and in tune with the car and road is driving a manual transmission. The other part is that there is no friendly allowance for zoning out. You zone out and you've crashed or maybe hit someone. It's intense.

I believe Americans are too comfortable behind the wheel. Traffic is well regulated and roads are wide and smooth, making driving too easy. Our brains insist on being active (or falling asleep - not good for the driving task) so we look to our phones and other distractions to stay engaged. While dodging other cars, pedestrians and potholes may not be ideal, I do believe these drivers are more focused on driving than we are at home.

Drive It Home Seattle

Drive It Home came to Seattle tonight and put on some pretty humorous sketches about teens and driving. A comedy troupe put on a Dr. Bill television show with commercials. My favorite were the commercial skits.

For the more serious part of the program, a mother spoke about her son being killed by an inexperienced driver who should never have been driving friends (he had a provisional license). That was rough.

The main take-aways for the evening include:

1. After licensing, continue to drive with your teen at least 30 minutes per week. See for yourself where their skills are and coach them on skills to improve. Be the authoritative parent. Set rules and ensure they are followed.

2. Before you let your teen drive on their own at night, or in the rain or snow or on the freeway or where ever, make sure they drive in those conditions with you first. Then you'll see what they know and where they need help. The number one killer of teens is car crashes. The number one reason for these crashes is inexperience (not texting or alcohol). Help your child get a variety of driving experiences before turning them out on their own.

3. Set the example. Drive the way you want your child to drive.

4. From the mother who lost her 14 year old son: Talk to your kids early about riding with others...when to speak up when something dangerous is happening...when to not get into someone else's car. Those conversations happen frequently for older teens. But younger ones need the same conversations.

5. And for the grand finale of the take-aways: Determine your child's readiness for driving before they take driver's education. What kinds of decisions are they making? Are they responsible? Considerate? Chances are they will make the same kinds of decisions when driving. So make sure they are ready for the challenge.

Doh! Texting Demotivational Poster

Velva Jean Learns To Drive

Book Review: Velva Jean Learns To Drive by Jennifer Niven

Velva Jean is a poor young girl growing up in the Appalachian Mountains in the 1930's. She has a beautiful voice and dreams that one day she will make it to Nashville to sing on stage at Grand Ole Opry decked out in rhinestones. Velva Jean temporarily forgets her dream and marries at age 16. A couple of years later she inherits an old truck. It sits in her yard many months before she rekindles her dream and teaches herself to drive. I was so completely wrapped up in Velva Jean's story that I was sad to see it end. The good news is that there is a sequal about learning to fly and another one after that (both of which are on the hold list for me at the library). I understand that book four will be out later this year.

Velva Jean's world doesn't have many cars in it. The people are isolated in the mountains and very few come in or out of them. There weren't many cars and even fewer drivers. Her sister was so afraid of automotive technology that she refused to ever get into a car and would never think of driving one.

Driving was considered a man's activity. A stereotype though long gone from the United States, is tightly adhered to in other parts of the world. I am reminded of the fight currently going on for women drivers in Saudi Arabia. Interestingly enough, religion plays a huge role in Velva Jean's husband forbidding her to drive just as it does for the Saudi women.

Driving equates to freedom and independence just about everywhere and it was no different for Velva Jean. While she understood that she needed to have a teacher when learning to drive, she also knew that she would never have that luxury. So she took her destiny into her own hands.

The books Velva Jean studied contained numerous lists of things you had to do while driving. They reminded me of the ones that modern day driver's ed teachers use. For example, when getting in the car there are hundreds if not thousands of acronyms in place to help you remember to put the key in the ignition, adjust your seat, adjust your mirrors, get the car in gear, release the emergency brake and get down the road. There are more to help you lane change. More to help you scan the road, drive in reverse and park the car. Each teacher has their favorites and there's great debate in whose are better and why. While building habits in new drivers is important, memorizing a bunch of lists is not. Hence, most of my students get out of my car only memorizing the lane changing procedure.

Velva Jean's brain was so overwhelmed with the endless lists in her book that if it weren't for her raw determination to learn, she would have quit immediately. She closed the books and started the truck to see if all hell would break loose like they wrote would happen. It didn't. She stalled the car. A lot. She gave herself small goals, like drive around the house once, then 5 times, then 10 times to measure her success.

Her method for figuring out the clutch was to read a little, try a bit and then read some more. Building skills incrementally prepares the brain to receive more insight for the next round of practice. And there's no substitute for experience.

Not only did Velva Jean's story captivate me on a personal level, but I also appreciated her incremental method of learning how to drive.